What have you done?

"What have you done?"
These were the only words that came to mind. "No, seriously Stacy! What have you done?!"
And thus began this inner dialogue that continues a year later. I sat in the crowded Barnes & Noble surrounded by people going about their "everyday lives" and knew that I wouldn't experience "everyday life" as I had come to know it ever again. I sat at what soon became my regular table behind the garbage can - across from the self-help books and I cried.
Now when I say I cried, I don't mean cute little movie tears, I mean ugly, snot face - boo-hoo tears. Tears that made the man on the other side of the trash can stop chatting with himself so he could see what was going on.
You see up until that moment I was confident!  I left my job of three years, my family, friends and church, flew 3,846 miles (yes, I checked!)  to Fairbanks, Alaska because God told me to. I left my apartment, my beta fish Rupert, and all of my earthly possessions in Ohio, and I just knew that it was going to be okay.  But that morning, when my best friend droped me off at Barnes & Noble "reality"  hit me. I don't know if it was the jet lag, the 18 hour flight, or the four different airports that I had visited the day before, but suddenly what looked like adventure and possibility just 36 hours ago now looked like pipe dreams and stupidity.
 And so, for the first time in my life I was more than four hours away from my parents, I was essentially unemployed and I had no plan. Coincidentally, for the first time in my life I really began to question that God actually had a plan for my life.  I would like to say that these questions were easily dissuaded by my quick wit, charming personality, and my Bible degree, but the truth is quick wit won't reveal the truth, a charming personality won't erase doubt, and a Bible degree won't reveal the Father's love for you.
 Anyone who knows me -  heck, anyone who will sit still long enough to hear me talk - knows that I quickly fell in love with Alaska; I fell in love with the beauty, the culture, the coffee, my job, the weather...(seriously, I will talk about it for hours if you let me!)  I even extended my two month stay to four months. But for some reason the line of questioning has not gone away. That dreaded feeling of doubt has never quite left my gut.
 Most of my adult life I was called naïve, told that I was too trusting, that I try to hard to find good in bad situations because I didn't want the discomfort of a confrontation, but something changed in me when I loosened my grip on faith. Suddenly the path that I was on looked a lot less like a gift from a loving God and a lot more like a product of circumstance. Suddenly the people who loved me and went out of their way to help me seemed a lot more like another person to whom I was obliged and a lot less like God using people  to love me and show that He will provide.
This doubt that crept in that day distorted my view of God. Instead of looking at my time in Alaska is God's way of removing me from a bad situation and a time of healing and restoration, I began to see it as me being selfish, running away, being irresponsible. And when I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt I gave into it.
 What was this guilt about? I felt guilty for leaving my job, I felt guilty for leaving my family, friends and church. I felt guilty that I was having the time of my life when I knew that there were people back home who were upset that I had gone.
 While I was letting this guilt and doubt take over, I was missing the things that God was trying to do for me. It wasn't until a car ride home from Bible study that things began to click for me.
 My best friend Jodi, knowing me better than anyone, could see the turmoil rolling around in my head. That evening, driving from North Pole to Fairbanks she said to me: "Em, did you ever stop to think that maybe you DIDN'T screw  up your life? That maybe God brought you here so he could heal your heart for a new beginning?"
 Had I ever stoped to think that? Well, no, because guilt and doubt are ugly monsters who come in to destroy everything they can. Unfortunately, when guilt and doubt come to town they bring their good pal fear and the three of them take no prisoners; with them it's kill or be killed and they know all of the tricks. They make you see life ia a flow chart instead of an intricate tapestry woven by the same hands that held the seas and sculpted the mountains.
 I wish I could say that after that moment I fixed my attitude, read my Bible more, and wholeheartedly believed that God has an amazing plan for my life, but I'm not that smart. It seems that I keep circling back to the same question, "What have you done?"
I left my amazing job and friends in the amazing State of Alaska.
"What have you done?"
 I got a job in the field that I swore I would never return to.
"What have you done?"
I let go of friendships.
"What have you done?"
I let new people into my life.
"What have you done?"
 And now I'm a week away from returning to the amazing job, friends, and State that I love and I find myself asking again: "What have you done?"
 The amazing thing is that God is even more constant in this question. He is more consistent than the fear, doubt and guilt. He provides for me when I doubt Him the most. He loves me when I deny Him. He holds my hand even when I can't feel His presence. He orders my steps even when I think I'm calling the shots. He sees me when I'm over looked, knows me when I misunderstood and wants me when I refused to except His love.
So, "what have you done?"  I've never been able to come up with a good enough answer to that question, but that's the beauty, I don't have to.

Give Birth to the Promise

Wednesday morning I woke up groggy and irritable from a restless night of dreaming. As I got ready for work I was talking to God about my issue - trying to barter, I guess. The conversation went a little like this:

Me: "God, if the gifts are from You and we are supposed to use them to further Your Kingdom, why do they have to take such a toll on us. I wish I could wake up from a night of dreaming and be completely rested and ready for the day."
(Not that I don't believe that this isn't possible, I just don't experience it very often.)

As I put on my coat and grabbed my purse, my mind traveled off into another thought - Mary. I kept thinking of the sacrifices that she had to make in order to operate in the gifts that God had given her; and the conversation started up again.

Me: "What would I have done if I were Mary? When I was 14 years old I could barely even remember to feed the dog, let alone be engaged and pregnant with the Messiah. Would I have said "Sure, God! Put your baby in me!" Maybe I would have said yes if You could give me a painless childbirth, I think that's the least that Mary could have asked for."

As I walked outside and locked my door God stopped me: "It doesn't work like that. Every life changing decision, every earth moving ministry is birthed from the screams of a swollen, pregnant mother. If Mary didn't feel her hips shift open, if she didn't feel her body tearing apart she wouldn't have realized how precious was the gift that she bore."

Not only did Mary have to feel every bit of the pregnancy and labor, but 14 year old, nine months pregnant Mary had to travel from her home in Nazareth to Bethlehem to be counted in the census. I'm sure that at this point Mary, like most other pregnant women felt like she was going to be pregnant for the rest of her life, but God didn't intend for her to be pregnant forever.

When Mary became pregnant, the baby had to form, grow - Mary had to carry the baby in her womb long enough for Him to mature.  Then - when her body could no longer contain the baby, God moved her to a completely different city.  God allowed Mary to be pregnant in Nazareth, but He could not allow her to give birth there.

The prophecy of Jesus' birth in Micah 5:2-4 says: But you, Bethlehem, David's Country, the runt of the litter - from you will come the leader who will shepherd-rule Israel. He'll be no upstart, no pretender. His family tree is ancient and distinguished. Meanwhile, Israel will be in foster homes until the birth pangs are over and the child is born, and the scattered brothers come back home to the family of Israel.  He will stand tall in his shepherd-rule by God's strength, centered in the majesty of God-Revealed. And the people will have a good and safe home, for the whole world will hold him in respect - peacemaker of the world!

If I were Mary, I would have bartered with God for a pain-free labor, but when I think about it, Mary may have had the most painful labor in all of history.  Her fiance questioned her loyalty, she was most likely scorned for being an unwed mother, she was taken from her home, made to embark on an exhausting journey and forced to give birth in a stable. But no matter how hard or messy the journey got, God was ALWAYS with her - literally.

Sometimes the gifts we've been given look a lot less like gifts and a lot more like a series of unfortunate events, but we shouldn't look at these gifts as "favors" that we're doing for God. They are not favors, they are gifts - gifts that God has trusted us to carry and nurture.  Even better than God entrusting us with His best is perhaps the knowledge that He entrusted us because He knew that we would be more than capable to see them through.

So Mary, don't be discouraged by the whispers, don't be offended by those who doubt you, don't despise the days of your swollen pregnancy, don't be afraid of the long journey, don't be ashamed to give birth in a barn, know that God is always with you and when the sun comes up you'll be holding The Promise in your arms.

Cleaning Up the Ark

Gen 8:1-2 (NIV)
"But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that were with him in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth and the waters receded.  Now the springs of the deep and the floodgates of the heavens had been closed and the rain had stopped falling from the sky."

It wasn't just raining on Noah.  The Bible tells us that the flood was coming at him from every angle. Rain from the sky, water bursting forth from the deep in the earth - God was throwing everything at them, yet he had put them under his protection.  Noah and his family still had to go through the storm, God didn't relocate them to the far off planet of Zebulan while he destroyed the earth.  He could have, but he didn't.  Instead, God gave Noah very specific instructions to build an ark; these instructions would not only save the lives of Noah and his family, but would also preserve all animal life forms.

Why didn't God just remove them from the situation until it was better?  Why did Noah have to work tirelessly on a huge boat - something that had never before been built?  I imagine that he was mocked, scorned, outcast, even called crazy and yet the Bible tells us that "Noah did everything just as God commanded him" (Gen 6:22).

Noah, his wife, their sons and their wives, along with all of the animals entered the ark and God shut them in...then they sat there and waited...and waited...and waited. They waited in a boat while everyone else, their friends, leaders of the community, the town criminals walked around. They waited in a boat while people walked by and chanted about "Crazy Old Noah" and his "Crazy Old Family".  Maybe the kids had a dare going on: "I dare you three figs that you won't go touch it!" and yet Noah waited.

Finally on the seventh day the floodgates opened, the springs burst forth and the rain came down. Noah was in this ark tending to his family and animals while everything was being destroyed.  His home, his friends, his mentors, the people he looked up to were all gone - and Noah was stuck right in the middle of it.

God could have removed him from the situation completely, but instead He put him right in the middle of if.  Why? The Bible says that "Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked faithfully with God" (Gen 6:9) Maybe God was rewarding Noah for his faithfulness, but there's more than that.  Perhaps God needed Noah to be in the middle of it, to watch his world be destroyed, to see everything that could have destroyed him be destroyed right in front of him while he was safe (shaken, but still safe) in the ark.

Even after the rains stopped, the waves didn't.  We think that the storm is always followed by calm, that God always has to be gentle as he's cleaning us up, but the Bible says he "sent a wind over the earth and the waters receded".

What kind of wind must that have been?  A Bahama breeze isn't going to dry a flooded earth. This wind didn't make Noah want to pitch a hammock and hang out on deck.  This wind had to be violent enough to make 40 days and nights worth of floodwater draw back. The Bible says "The water receded steadily from the earth.  At the end of the hundred and fifty days the water had gone down..." (Gen 8:3).

The storm was over, Noah and his family and all of the animals had survived 40 days and 40 nights worth of raging floods, but now they had to survive 150 days with a wind strong enough to dry the planet.

Often times we think that the storms in our lives are the scariest, longest periods and that they serve no purpose, but I would contend that storms are quick, they are violent and can be terrifying, but it's the clean up that takes the longest.

God uses the storms in our lives to destroy the things that could destroy us.  Sometimes he even warns us that they're coming and tells us to get in the ark...and there we sit, but just imagine if Noah had gotten tired of being mocked, tired of listening to his sons bicker back and forth, tired of smelling the filth of the animals. What if Noah had gotten tired of waiting and left the ark before the seventh day?  He would have been swept up and destroyed with the rest of creation.

The Bible says that Noah was 600 years old when the waters began to rise and he was 601 when the ground was dry.  40 days and 40 nights - that's how long it rained, only 40 days and 40 nights.  The rest of the year God spent cleaning up the destruction.  Noah spent 40 days and 40 nights on the ark while it rose high above the tallest peaks and then he spent 150 days being tossed about by the wind before the ark finally came to rest on a mountain. He then spent another 4 months sitting in an ark on a mountain before he even opened a window to look outside.

See, it's not the storm that took the longest, but the clean up. The clean up isn't always easy, it isn't always pleasant, but it is always necessary.  Don't let the enemy trick you into believing that the storm is the end of the test, if we don't let God clean us up after the storm we'll end up spending the rest of our lives on the ark.

Cover Up Your Ugly

Brokenness.

We run from it - pull the covers over our head and refuse to acknowledge it. We are quick to point it out in others, but slow to recognize it in ourselves. It's painful and pain is a bad thing, ergo...brokenness is bad.

We're ashamed of being broken, we're ashamed to deal with the hurt of being broken, the messiness of being broken.

We're afraid that someone else might find out. They might find out that we have a gross attitude, they might find out that we struggle with profanity, they might find out that we struggle with loneliness, with trust, with loving others, with loving ourselves.

What if the world discovers that we're not what we look like? What if they realize that the outgoing, smiling excitement is covering up brokenness? What if the facade starts to crack just like the inside? People would start to see what's really going on, not just what we let them see.

What if the outer shell starts to crack and our ugly hangs out?

What if it does?

King David's did.

"You're the One I've violated, and you've seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil.  You have all the facts before you; whatever you decide about me is fair.  I've been out of step with you for a long time, in the wrong since before I was born.  What you're after is truth from the inside out. Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.  Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean, scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life.  Tune me in to foot tapping songs, set these once-broken bones to dancing.  Don't look too close for blemishes, give me a clean bill of health.  God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.  Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me.  Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails!  Give me a job teaching rebels your ways so the lost can find their way home.  Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God, and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.  Unbutton my lips, dear God; I'll let loose with your praise.  Going through the motions doesn't please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you.  I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered.  Heart shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice. Make Zion the place you delight in, repair Jerusalem's broken-down walls.  Then you'll get real worship from us, acts of worship small and large, including all the bulls they can heave onto your altar!" -Psalm 51:4-18

King David got it.  He cracked and his ugly just started pouring out. He was broken. But was it a bad thing? He recognized his ugliness, he recognized his brokenness and he asked God to do something different. "God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life."

We run from acknowledging our brokenness, but until we acknowledge that something is broken, it can't be fixed.

David said "Going through the motions doesn't please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you." When we refuse to acknowledge our brokenness we're just going through the motions, putting on a performance in hopes that people won't see us for who we really are, but David said: "I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered."

We're afraid to let go of our pride, afraid that if we start to deal with one issue that it will all unravel like our favorite fifteen year old sweater, afraid that God's not going to be there to catch all of the pieces.

That's not true.

"Heart shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice."

So let go of the brokenness, Stop trying to hold it all together and cover up your ugly.

It's not going to work.

Sometimes we need to let the broken pieces fall off and let our ugly hang out so The Lord can clean it off and start again.

The Scandal of Grace

McCrea sat in the small room, head down, staring at his dirty hands. He could hear nothing but the rumble of his stomach, but that didn't matter to him. He was in trouble. Three days ago he had stolen a car. He stole the car so he could sell it for parts.  He was cold, hungry, dirty, tired and afraid - the money could at least help him with some of that. But now he was sitting in a room with a metal table and two folding chairs waiting for his fate to be sealed.

His eyes burned as he fought to hold back tears, his throat ached as he choked back the sobs. He couldn't cry. He had done something wrong and now he had to pay the consequences. His stomach growled again as the door opened. He stared at his dirty cuticles until someone cleared their throat. First he saw the shoes, brown leather with thin brown strings, a matching belt was looped through his khaki pants, a red plaid shirt was thrown over a white t-shirt, his large arms, folded across his chest, his jaw line covered in last night's 5 o'clock shadow, his dark brown hair stuck up haphazardly all over his head. McCrea recognized the man's face from many billboards and his stomach dropped - it was the Governor.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"McCrea", he whispered.

"McCrea, When's the last time you ate?"

"I dunno, sir. A couple of days ago."

The governor studied him for a minute, then he turned around and walked out.

"Now you're in for it," McCrea said to himself as the knot in his stomach pulled even tighter. "You must be in huge trouble if they're calling in the Governor."

Time moved slowly as McCrea sat alone. All he could do was think and wait.

He thought about life - and waited.
He thought about the mistakes that he made - and waited.
He thought about the good times that he had before his whole life fell apart - and he waited.
He thought about the hurt that he felt - and he waited.
He thought about what a disappointment he was - and he waited.
He thought about how unfair life was - and he waited.
He thought about how much better his life would be...if only - and he waited.
He thought about how many people would miss him if he were gone - and he waited.

He sat there with his head in his hands and tears on his cheeks. Broken. Hungry. Dirty. Tired. Afraid. Ashamed. He had nothing to offer. No money for a lawyer. There was nothing that he could do to get out of this, then again why should he? He was guilty anyways. Worthless to society. Nothing he could ever do would make him or anyone else better off. He could work for years, but he would still be broken, tired, afraid and ashamed.

The click of the door pulled him out of his thoughts and there stood the Governor.  In his hands he held two bags.  As he began to unload them, McCrea's mind was spinning.  Salad, bread sticks, pasta, chicken, sweet tea, cheesecake. He hadn't seen that much food since before his mom died.

"Eat." The Governor commanded, but McCrea just sat there.  He couldn't move. His stomach was roaring, but he was too ashamed to eat anything.

"Please, eat" he said and McCrea reluctantly complied.  He started off slowly, but then quickly began to shovel the food into his mouth.  He ate his fill and then a little more, while the Governor sat and watched.  His brown eyes catching McCrea's every move, not saying a word.

When he was finished eating, he was ushered into a small room, instructed to remove his clothes and then guided into a shower. His first shower in weeks; the water was hot on his cold skin and he watched as a month's worth of dirt and filth washed down the drain.  When he got out of the shower he reached for his old tattered clothes but found in their place, a pair of brown leather shoes, a belt to match, socks, khaki pants, underwear, a white t-shirt and a red plaid shirt. Confused, McCrea dressed with trembling hands and made his way back to the small room where the Governor was waiting.

McCrea sat down, kept his eyes on his hands and his hands in his lap and waited.  Finally the silence was too much and he burst out:

"I'm sorry!" He cried.
"Did you know that the car that you stole was mine?" asked the Governor.
"I am so sorry! I've never done anything like this before! As soon as I get out of jail, I promise I'll pay you back!"
"Son," the Governor said, "How long have you been on the streets?"
"About six months now, sir."
"Where are you parents?"
"I never knew my father and my mom died about a year ago.  I was in foster care for a while, but I couldn't stay in that house so I left."
Silence...
"I really am sorry! I was just so hungry and I didn't know what else to do! I swear, I'll pay you back as soon as I get out of jail!"
The Governor looked a little confused. "Who said anything about jail?" He asked as he slid a piece of paper across the table.  "Do you know what this is?" McCrea shook his head.
"This is an official complaint against you for your crime."

McCrea's vision became blurry as he fought back tears.

The Governor reached over, picked up the paper, tore it in half and then again and again until it was just small pieces of confetti on the table.  McCrea stared at him, bewildered as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"McCrea, I'm going to make you the offer of a life time. Are you ready?" McCrea slowly nodded his head.
"You're going to come and live with me, you're going to go to school and get your diploma and then in the evenings after school, you're going to work for me.  On the weekends, you are going to take me to every chop shop that you sold parts to and I am going to pay to get my car parts back, then you and I are going to to put that car back together.  When we're finished the car will belong to you."

McCrea couldn't speak, the tears rushed out as he shook his head in disbelief. Finally he managed to ask "Why?"

The Governor reached over, grabbed McCrea's hand and looked him square in the eye. "I know that you stole my car because you were hungry.  You were scared, you didn't know what else to do. You didn't know that you had anyone that you could turn to, but now you do. From now on I'm the one you turn to. I am on your side. I want you to be able to become like me so that you can help others."

"But sir, I don't deserve this," McCrea whispered.

The Governor chuckled. "Son, the scandal of grace is that I'm going to front the cost of everything that you did while you were lost, in order for you to have a free life now that you are found."

With that the Governor stood up, pushed in his chair and walked to the door while McCrea sat and watched. He opened the door and turned his head, "Are you coming?"

Father Abraham

"Now that of know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, you only son. Abraham looked up and there he saw a ram caught by its horns... So Abraham called that place The Lord will provide. And to this day it is said, "on the mountain of the Lord, it will be provided". Gen 22:12-14

God finally gave Abraham the one thing that he had been asking for his whole life - a son. Then God says "Okay, take Isaac up to the mountains, when you get there, I'll tell you where you can kill him for me".

Uhhmmmm....excuse me...God? You can't be serious!

But Abraham didn't say no.  The next morning he got up, packed up the donkey, grabbed a couple of servants and took off to sacrifice his son.

Can you imagine what the hours leading up to that morning were like?  The Bible doesn't say anything about Abraham arguing or pleading with God, although I'm sure that it crossed his mind.

Did he lay next to his wife and remember the day that Isaac was born?  Did he try to spend some extra quality time with his son? Did he begin to grieve and freak everyone out?

All the Bible tells us is that "Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey.  He took with I'm two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about."

They got half way there and Abraham ditched the servants, maybe he didn't want witnesses to him killing his son...or MAYBE he didn't want anyone trying to talk him out of doing what HE KNEW God had told him to do.

The Bible says that Abraham took the wood for the altar and placed it on Isaac's shoulders, while he himself carried the knife and fire.  I find it interesting that the author of Genesis thinks it is important to mention "Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife." (Gen 22:6)

Why is this important for us to know?  He put the altar on the sacrifice and he himself held the tools that could carry out the sacrifice.

Is God trying to show us that the sacrifice isn't NECESSARILY the most important thing, but the fact that we hold the ability to make the sacrifice in our hands, and that we have a heart that is willing to make any sacrifice that God calls us to no matter the cost to us?

When they're on this journey, Isaac starts to catch on. "Uh...Dad?" "Yes, son." "Dad, I see the wood, I see the fire, but where is the lamb?"  Talk about AWKWARD!  I mean imagine being Isaac, taking a hike up this mountain with his elderly father.  He's probably thinking, "Okay, dad made us go all this way and the totally forgot the lamb!" but then Abraham says "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering..." If i'm Isaac, I'm thinking that my dad has finally lost it, but Isaac continues on this journey.

They finally get to the place that God told them about and Abraham gets to work.  He builds the altar, arranges the wood...then he goes after Isaac...

Now, we tend to look at the people in the Bible as "spiritual super heroes", perfect humans who never doubted, never feared and were never upset by the things that God told them to do...but I imagine a different picture here.

I feel like there was probably some yelling. "Dad!  What are you doing?!" "Please don't hurt me!" "I'm your son, the one God promised you!" I'm sure Abraham wasn't silent; "I love you, son." "This is the will of God." I'm sure there were tears, lots of snot, maybe even an "I'm sorry".  I can't believe that Isaac lay there motionless as Abraham, his FATHER raised the knife.  I'm sure Abraham wasn't stone faced as he looked down at Isaac, the only son of his beloved wife, Sarah.

But he did it.

Isn't that the point that God's trying to get across to us? The promised son of Abraham, the son for whom he had waited nearly 100 years, was crying up at him from an altar of sacrifice, probably pleading for his life, but Abraham takes the knife and raises a trembling hand.

Despite the cost, despite the pain, despite the past, despite his conception of the promise that God had made him.

Abraham was willing to give up the first physical manifestation of a promise that God made many years ago.  He laid his beloved son on an altar of sacrifice because he knew that his sacrifice was worth more on the altar than it was in his hands.

You know the story, just as Abraham is about to kill Isaac an angel pops out and tells him to step away.  God spares Isaac's life because of the obedient and God fearing heart of a father.

Imagine if Abraham had been so caught up in what God had told him YESTERDAY that he couldn't hear what God was saying today.  This story would have ended much differently.

So what is God asking you to lay on the altar of sacrifice?  A job, a relationship, your children, your security, your future, your reputation?  Whatever it is, know that your sacrifice is worth more on the altar than it could ever be worth in your hands.

Faith for Joy

Life brings seasons; seasons of hardship, seasons of questions, seasons of rest and much more. But how do we stand with joy in the seasons that leave us with more questions than answers?

We have the times when we think that we can't stand, the times when you just can't seem to believe the promises that we know God has made to us. And sometimes we have to watch those we love go through hard times that seem like they will never end.  It is in times like this that, if we're not careful we begin to lose hope, we allow ourselves to step away from our faith.

Hebrews 11:1 says that "Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do no t see." 

In these times of doubt we must put our faith in the promises that God has made us:

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.  Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world cause by evil desires." -2 Peter 1:3-4

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." -Jeremiah 29:11-12

"And the same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus" -Philippians 4:19

"But whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm."         -Proverbs 1:33

"I am giving you a gift-peace of mind and heart.  And the peace I give you is a gift the world cannot give.  So don't be troubled or afraid." -John 14:27

Time after time God gives us the words that we need to get through the rough times.  He makes promises to care for us, to hear us, to give us peace, hope, a future, a way into godliness.

Too often we rely solely on the people around us to help us deal with our hardships.  We want our friends, our family, our pastors, mentors, teachers to all have the answers and therefore we neglect to seek counsel from the One who does.  

God said "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."  God will not neglect his children, He is a "rewarder of him who diligently seeks Him". It is only in seeking His face with a heart full of faith that we can "do life".  When we stop having more faith in other people than we do in our Savior and when we stop trying to get the answers from those around us and access the answers from Him who is in us we can truly have the joy that God intended for us to have.  

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." -Hebrews 11:6

"You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." -Psalm 16:11